I had the fancy for roast chicken today.  My dear brother-in-law sent me a link to a friends website showing roast chicken and pancetta, and I decided that was exactly the thing I wanted for dinner.

Roast Chicken with Proscuitto and Lemon

Roast Chicken with Proscuitto and Lemon

I think it’s impossible to go wrong with a roast chook although – Lord knows – some people seem to manage it.  (You know who you are!!!)

The recipe, such as it is, goes like this…

Take one free-range chicken, wash and pat dry, season with salt, pepper and a little rub of garlic (although leave out the salt if you’re using prosciutto – it’s salty enough).  Stuff with a half-lemon and a bunch of herbs.  Truss tightly.  Wrap in a half-dozen slices of prosciutto (or pancetta, if you like) and try and get the meat evenly spread over the breasts and legs.  Spritz with olive oil and put into a medium-hot oven (about 180C) for an hour per kilo of bird.  I laid mine on a bed of sliced lemon and put in a half-cup of water to stop the juices burning.  Baste and turn every half-hour or so that it cooks evenly.  It’s done when you prick it with a skewer in the thigh and the juices run clear.

I served it with a light green salad and a bottle of smooth merlot (yes, it’s a white meat but the flavourings are robust enough to need a red wine).  As you can see, the lemons have caramelized slightly and given up their flavours.  I thickened the pan juices slightly and used that as gravy.

Delicious!

The best thing about a roast chook are the leftovers.  There’ll be enough for two lunches tomorrow and I’ll use the bones for stock – free-range birds just have so much more flavour!!

So here I was – feeling rather cocky about turning out a pile of the lightest, thinnest, laciest crepes ever – when I promptly lost my cooking mojo and carbonized an entire pan of rice.  God, I hate it when that happens.  The last time was a doozy as I managed to incinerate a hot dog (of all things)!  But this!  This is something else.

Let’s just say that I’ve given up chiseling and will wait for The Husband to come home and find me the wire-brush attachment for the Dremel.

Yup.  It really is that bad.

What kind of mutant talent do I have to effortlessly flip a batch of crepes and then muck up something as simple as steamed rice less than fifteen minutes later?

Well, the electrician cut through a water pipe yesterday so I spent all day in 36C heat with no power, no phone, no internet and no water.  Power (and thus phone and internet) are back on for the time being and will probably continue to randomly be switched on and off throughout the day.  I still don’t have a workings stove.

With any kind of luck, all this will be over today.

But, considering my luck so far and the fact that the end of the week is going to be a literal scorcher, I think I’ll just climb into the freezer with the bottle of vodka and come out on Monday.  Ok?

Right-o.  See you then…

Well, wiring is dangling out a variety of new holes in the wall, the floor is covered with a selection of plaster dust, wiring bits and random dreck, and the cat is camping out under the house.  There is no part of Chez Buttercup that has escaped, but that’s the deal with modern houses and their new-fangled crap like lighting in every room.

*sigh*

My usual routine is totally blown to shreds, although the upside is that competing in NaNoWriMo is a little easier when there’s nothing to do except barricade yourself at your desk and write.  However, woman does not live on crappy mystery plotting alone so I’m doing the only thing I can and bake.  Of course.

This backfired somewhat last night when I ended up putting the finishing touches to my Two Fat Ladies Meatloaf in the dark with a small flashlight in my mouth.  At least the flashlight prevented me from swearing, which is no doubt a Good Thing.

However, the sun being well and truly up, I decided to make bagels.  No, I’ve no idea why bagels suddenly seemed like such a good idea but there you go.  Stress will do that to you.

The dough recipe came from “Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day” which was a recent purchase.  I’ve only tried two recipes out of this book so far (pizza dough and the bagels) but they have really impressed me.  My pizza dough is chewy, crispy, blistered and tasty – it’s very nearly at the level I’d expect from a good traditional pizzeria and WELL past what you get at any of the tasteless chain store jobs.

And the bagels?

Dense.  Chewy.  Moist.  Crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside.

I will try and take a photo for you sometime today, but I’m not to sanguine about my chances, given the Electric Tornado that’s shaking the house.

In any case, I highly recommend the book.  I’d type out the recipe for you but it’s a couple of pages (not difficult, just really well explained) and I’m feeling lazy.  Besides, the lovely people behind the book explain it much better than I can and give you all the little details I’d probably miss because I’m a lazy cow.

My main difference between their recipe and my reality is that I have neither a pizza stone, nor an oven that will reliably go above 180C without straining something or catching fire.

Let’s see – it’s 11:30am.  Too early to start drinking?

It was going to be easy.  We’d get the old insulation sucked out of the attic, throw in the new stuff (courtesy of our Beloved Leader, Mr Rudd) and that would be that.  Who could tell that the removal of many, many bags of hideous bum-fluff insulating contaminated with three billion different varieties of grot would reveal the looming disaster that is our wiring.

My first inkling of disaster came when I tried to go to bed and turn off the main light in the front room.  It wouldn’t turn off.  In fact, no-one had turned it on.  We called our electrician, who is a tiny Vietnamese elf made entirely of leather, who ascertained that the reason that the light was on was because someone had kicked the horrible wiring in the roof and that it was glowing because it was live.

Not.  Good.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, our electrician is currently sweating himself into a state of god-knows-what by rewiring the house.  He’s up in the roof right now removing Bakelite junction boxes that look like they’ve been strung together with fencing wire and the occasional coat hanger.  Like everything else in this goddamn house the wiring has turned out to be a series of terrible patch jobs and home-made switches just lurking in the walls waiting to kill the unwary.  Why am I unsurprised?

I had been reading an article recently on the rise of fires in older houses and the culprit was pointed out as being big plasma TV’s.  People keep plugging bigger and better entertainment centres into circuits that were designed for a vacuum tube wireless and wondering why they have house fires.

The elf will be in the roof, shedding plaster dust and cutting holes in walls for another 8 or 9 days.  Total cost: $6,000.  Sorry kids – it’s going to be two sticks and a piece of string for Christmas this year.  Almost as good as a Wii, I promise.

All that aside, I’m not sure what’s worse – the dust, disruption, noise, or the fact that there’s a stranger IN MY HOUSE.  Those of you that know me well will understand that I don’t deal well with humanity at the best of times – I’m quite happy being a recluse.  And emergency electrical work does not in any way qualify as “the best of times”.

I’m so very tempted to crawl under the house with the cat.  It’s cool down there and she’s already cleared out most of the cobwebs with her whiskers.

*sigh*

After one abortive attempt last year, I can finally say that I have made my own bacon – and very good it is too.

Shown below with some salt and juniper berries, I used the recipe given in Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s “The River Cottage Meat Book” (it’s an excellent book and I highly recommend it!).

Home cured and smoked bacon

Home made bacon - shown with Juniper berries and salt

It’s a simple enough recipe.  In a non-metallic container, mix 1kg coarse salt, a few bay leaves (crumbled), about 20 juniper berries (crushed), 200g soft brown sugar and 25g coarsely ground black pepper.  Hugh’s recipe says 2 teaspoons of saltpeter (potassium nitrate), but that’s no longer available in this country due to the threat of terrorists blowing up our small goods.

And then the fun starts.

Get hold of some good pork belly.  Mr Fearnley-Whittingstall says organic, rare-breed pig if possible but – as this was my first try – I just found your average bog-standard pork belly and bought two chunks.  I rubbed handfuls of the mix into the meat and put it into a large plastic lidded container in the fridge.  The next day, I emptied out the juice that had collected, re-rubbed the meat and put it back.  I did this for the 5 days recommended in the book and then washed them, dried them, and popped the meat into my Webber BBQ after I’d finished roasting some chickens and the coals were well burned down.  I put some smoking pellets into foil and put these on the coals, went away and had a drink or two and came back in the evening to find some of the most luscious meat possible waiting for me.  You’re supposed to let them sit 3 days before smoking but I confess that I forgot this step.  Oh well.

I devoured several chunks while it was still warm – both as a safety and a quality check.  I’m still alive a week later and it’s still delicious, so I guess it passes muster.

If you try this at home, you MUST remember a few important things;

  • Hygiene.  Wash your containers, counters and cutting boards, bleach them if possible, and ensure that your hands are clean at all times.
  • Salt.  You cannot skimp on the salt.  You are relying on the salt not just to add flavour, but also to both remove enough water from the meat and to salt the meat so that bacteria and other nasties cannot infest it.
  • Freshness.  Purchase the meat on the day you intend to start.  Don’t leave it sitting around in the fridge for a few days while you dither about.

So there you go!

There’s a few things that I’d change the next time I make this.  I think I’d add some more aromatics to the cure – I skimped on the juniper berries (pictured) and I shouldn’t have.  I also used mesquite wood chips to smoke the meat (because that’s all I had at the time) but it probably would have worked slightly better if I’d been organised enough to buy a more traditional bacon smoking wood, like hickory or apple.

So far I’ve used the bacon in a truly kick-ass Boeuf Bourguignon last night (beat that, Julia Child!), Caesar Salad and also with scrambled eggs (I LOVE crispy bacon stirred into the egg mix).

No store-bought bacon ever tasted like this – it has an incredibly rich, meaty flavour that is almost too porky.  Just as some offal can be so strong-tasting as to be almost offensive, this really is intense.  The five days in the salt left it well-seasoned, and it isn’t over-salted at all, although if you use it in a recipe, be sure to cut back any additional salt.

I’m calling this one a success.

YUM!!!

I’ve had two fat pieces of pork belly sitting in the fridge for the last week in a home-made curing mix and I finally put them in the BBQ to smoke and cook them last night (the smoking wood was mesquite – not quite what I had in mind, but it was all that I had on hand).

This afternoon, I finally got around to tasting them.

Oh.  My.  God.

They taste delicious!  Real porky, bacon-y flavour that you don’t get anymore, overlaid with a good strong (but not too strong) smoke flavour with the subtle spice of the curing mix.  I can’t wait to put this into stuff!  I can’t wait to fry bits alongside some eggs and tomatoes!!

So, currently, I’m just waiting to see if there’s any ill effects (this is the first time I’ve cured meat of any description beyond making biltong) and – if all is safe – it’s going to get distributed around the family for taste testing.

At this point, I think I can safely up the spices (juniper, bay, thyme & pepper), and possibly the amount of sugar in the cure.  Or possibly sub the sugar for honey – a little sweetness would be wonderful.  I’ll also make sure to get a more conventional bacon-smoke wood for the next time – hickory or apple would be perfect.

Anyhow, assuming I survive the night, I’ll post both a method and plenty of photo’s tomorrow!!

Hooray for bacon!!!

Dedicated readers will possibly recall that this blog started soon after I finished reading a little book called “Julie & Julia”.  Well, I’ve just been to the movie and enjoyed it thoroughly.  Amy Adams comes across a little sweeter perhaps than the real life Julie Powell does in her book, but Meryl Streep as Julia Child was wonderful to watch – even taking into consideration that I am something of a Streep fangirl.

I do suggest that – if you’re going to take the time to read Julie Powell’s book – you might also take the time to read Julia Child’s own book about her time in France which is called (unsurprisingly, perhaps) ” My Life in France”.  It’s an excellent book and Child is a fascinating woman.

And now, I’m off to survey the fridge and wonder if I have enough butter to roast a chicken.  I’ve only got a single 250g block – clearly that won’t do!  :)

Ooh…bright shiny things!!!

Steel & Beaten Copper Balti Dish

Steel & Beaten Copper Balti Dish

These are actually quite heavy – surprisingly so – but I assume that’s the heavy copper base.  The handles are brass and have some rather nice decoration on them.  I’ve got one with a slight ding in the base, so that one will have to be mine.  Oh, what a shame!  I’m trying to think what I can make to put in it and take some luscious photo’s.  Perhaps a nice goat korma?

Anyway, I’ve booked them into  the shop so we’ll see what people think.  I’ve got a pile more Indian stuff on the way in, so no doubt there’ll be a lot more curries and dhal featuring here soon.

Dammit.  Now I’m craving naan bread!

I finally found that Woolworths is now keeping eggwhites in the freezer section!  Look for a 900ml carton with a cartoon weightlifter on a royal-blue background.  Price is about $6-7.

So happy!

Now I know they’re being marketed as a health food (eggwhite omelet – can you think of anything more disgusting???) but MY brain immediately started going…  Ooh, sorbets!  And Gin Fizzes!  Oh, and what about meringues?  A Daquoise!! Nice one, brain.

It goes without saying that my brain is not particularly interested in healthy things but a carton of eggwhites is probably more healthy for me that is immediately apparent.  Because, if I had to seperate a dozen or so eggs, I’d be FORCED (probably at whisk-point!)  to find something to do with all the eggyolks, and THAT would probably mean chocolate mousse, mayonnaise, hollandaise,  and any number of other sinfully rich goodies.

So there you go.  Carton eggwhites.  Healthy even for a glutton gourmande like me.

;)

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